New Blog, More Fun + Worms

Or, really, more of the same.

As I promised, I did go through with moving over to WordPress for the blog. Good? Bad? Great, actually! Not only am I a big fan of this new look, but actually using WordPress itself feels quick and fantastic. Part of the reason I was so slow with updates was because of just how tedious it is to hold up a static page blog – I had to update the index of the blog page with a glimpse of the post, then make a separate .html file for the post itself, had to downscale images just to fit them, blah, blah, blah. I hated doing it, but WordPress makes things much easier with it’s sleek, neat block editor.

This is certainly a lot less distracting to write in than writing inbetween <p></p> constantly.

Enough of that, though. Surely, readers don’t care much for the backend of this site, and how much neater WordPress is. Just know it’ll make my work a lot easier from now on.

So, what have I been doing? Playing Worms Armageddon. Constantly. I have no idea what got me hooked, but it seems like with this damn game, I fall into a phase with it, hook line and sinker. I did it once many months ago, I’m doing it now. There’s something so fun about cartoon worms blowing eachother up – along with finding fun, unique and creative ways to deal with your enemies. Although it may have done me more bad than good, my favorite weapon would be the explosive Petrol Bomb:

Petrol Bomb - Wormopedia

Just wonderful. Perfect showcase of how overpowered fire really is in this dorky game.

The more I play Armageddon, the more my brain ponders about other Worms games. “What about Worms 3D?” I’ll say to myself. “Maybe Worms 2 and Worms World Party? They look exactly like Armageddon…” And while I ponder, I come across a beautiful showcase that simply, subtly tells me what I must do.

Nasty ass noses.

What you see before you is the beautifully rendered cutscenes of Worms, the very first Worms experience, developed by the classic Team17 – also known for the most anti-climactic 3D platformer and some other games that nobody has ever heard of. And for better or worse, it’s pure art.

So, funny cutscenes, hm? I agree. What about the game itself, though…? How does Team17’s very first shot at the Worms experience we all know today, hold up now with many other newer, more expansive releases?

Worms 1995 is on quite a few things. For one, it was originally released on the Amiga. Then, ported to quite a few different systems – MS-DOS, Game Boy, Sega Saturn, Playstation, just to name a couple. Although I did want to try the MS-DOS version, as it seemed the most iconic, I couldn’t get my hands on a copy of it. I’m sure it’s great on the Amiga too, but since I’ve never tried Amiga emulation, I just stuck with the Playstation port. And if you’re wondering, the Saturn port is just a direct copy of the Playstation port.

I got my hands on a ROM, booted up the good ol’ psxfin (which, by the way, is 100x better than the incredibly overrated ePSXe), and started it up.

For some reason, there was no music. It felt a little unnerving, but oh well. Might just be an emulator glitch or something of the sort.

In typical Worms fashion, the first thing I do is go straight to make a team.

This time we’re basing it on birds, those weird feathery abominations you should probably feed your breadcrumbs to, lest they destroy the land. Seems like in this game, you can only have up to 4 worms on your team.

With the Birds up and ready to go, I set myself up for a war against the Royalty, an “OK” CPU team. I assume they’re one of the easier CPU teams, so it should be good for a first-time 1995 player such as myself.

Already, it seems like Worms has stuck to the typical randomly generated land that’s in practically every other major Worms title. Here, though, they all seem to be very horizontal and island-like. But, that’s fine. I think this one looks pretty good – I’m mostly decent at smaller maps like this.

Jesus Christ, that’s just my grenade?

Yes, the explosions are crazy in Worms ’95. It almost looks like I used a Cluster Grenade, but no, the grenade just…has two blasts, I suppose. Let’s see what the CPU can dish out.

I can assure you that an “OK” player would be sure to start his match by almost killing his own worm with one well(?) placed bazooka blast. It’s manipulating the RNG, I insist.

Finding a perfect opportunity, I decide to try out one of my favorite weapons in Armageddon, the Dynamite. And, of course, like all the other explosions, it’s fucking extreme in ’95. I almost got my own Pigeon killed using it.

The crate drops in this game seem a bit more frequent than they are in Armageddon. They’re getting handed out practically every other turn, so why not try to nab one for myself?

This is about the time I realized that, as far as I’m aware, there is no backflip in ’95. The average worm’s most cherished movement option is nowhere to be seen. At least, not in my vision. As hard as I tried, I just could not get to that damn crate.

I noticed something peculiar that was certainly much different from Armageddon, regarding the classic Air-Strike weapon. In this game, you can use it even in the very first turn, but in Armageddon, you had to cycle a few turns before you could use it. I decided to take this convenience of ’95‘s to my advantage, and bomb not only the crate that one of the Royalty could’ve easily gotten to, but damage them heavily, theoretically.

It did destroy the crate, sure, and it did damage them a good bit, sure, but that Air-Strike is much different from Armageddon‘s.

Air Strike | Worms Wiki | Fandom

Similar, sure, but in ’95, it seems to be in a very straight row. I wasn’t expecting that, so my very own Crow was caught in the blast. All apologies. Let’s see how Royalty will unleash payback.

Oh. Well, by killing Crow, I suppose. Fair enough, it’s not like I haven’t killed any of their worms – but my question is, how the hell did just an “OK” team make such a perfect shot?

This isn’t just a problem with ’95, either, this is something I experienced a lot playing with CPUs in other Worms games. Has this just always been a weird issue? The bots can either be incredibly inefficient or make beautiful pro-plays like seen here…

Whatever. They’ve only one worm left, so I’ll take care of them the old-fashioned way.

That old-fashioned way being the shotgun, Worm’s Best Friend. Worked exactly how I wanted to, and dished out damage that ended the match with the Birds victorious.

Par for the course when you’re just this good.

Well, that’s certainly an interesting Worms experience. It feels quite similar to Armageddon and other Worms titles, but with many things setting it apart from the others. I really do enjoy the extremely impactful explosions and just general roughness of everything. All feels super satisfying and good.

While I doubt I’ll switch from Armageddon to ’95 anytime soon, I might play it again as a time-killer. If you like any of the Worms games you’ve played, I’d suggest checking out ’95, just to take a look at how the games have evolved since then. Until next time, I’ll go back to shooting bazooka blasts at little pixel worms on my screen.

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